OTFREE?

I'm feeling so accomplished. Last week was very stressful and full of anxiety. This week I haven't solved any of my problems but I feel better. I don't know why, but I'm glad I do. Going to OTC yesterday was an experience. I'm glad I have 2 years of a free education, great. But that doesn't make me want to go to the school of the blind. Some of these people are pure stupid. You can't fix dumb. The man that was happy because he could read at a 5th grade reading level, wow. He was crazy. I think people with learning dissabilitties and have a hard time understanding in the class room should still try and the should get help for their disabbilities, but that doesn't mean I want to be in a class room full of them. I've had my fair share of stupid people in highschool, I figured college would be more selective. I guess this is why you don't go to juco where everyone and their brother is handed a full ride. I wanted college to be exciting and more challenging, something I really enjoy. Now I don't feel challenged at all. I'm going to OTC with 100 kids from my graduating class, yay. I wanted to go meet new people and enjoy the experience. I guess what I'm saying is I wish I would have listened to what I wanted a little more and decided to go somewhere and live on campus. Even if I didn't go far away, just MSU I wish I would have decided to live on campus, to get that college feel. I'm blessed and happy I got 2 free years for college, I know in the end none of this will matter. They are just gen eds so who cares. College is suppose to be fun and exciting, becoming an adult and living on your own. Parties and fun with your friends. Working and trying to fit everything in. I feel like I'm not getting that.

No Back Bone

What if nursing school and being a nurse isn't for me? I've been thinking about it a lot. I need to figure it out sometime. but I can't. It's the only occupation that I can put myself in and i will be happy with it for the rest of my life. I keep thinking there must be something better, something that drives me more. I don't want to wake up everyday hating my job. I want to enjoy it and be happy. Of course. I really enjoy working with special needs kids. If there is a classroom with one kid that has something special I'll work with that kid the whole day, and I love it. So why am I not going to school to work with special needs? I would love to be an at home tutor with kids that struggle with autism or asburgers. So why am I going to nursing school? I don't really know why. It makes me sad now that I sit down and write this down. I feel it's that I'll upset people if they know I'm going to be a teacher, there is people out there that want more for me than that, teachers don't make any money. I've said that before too. Am I only going to school for the money. I'll be making good money in 2 years, that's awesome. But what if there is the other job that will make me more happy. Who am I kidding. I'm going to nursing school. I am so easily influenced I will never choose anything that makes me the happiest. I'll choose everything that makes everyone else the happiest.