MIisc....

I struggle sometimes trying to find the words to say. Usually I don't. Today I struggle. I'm not in the mood to be freewriting nor am I in the mood to be at school. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I wake up monday through friday to go to school, which I don't always enjoy. Then after the last bell rings I go to work or I go home and work on my homework. Everyday this is my routine. It gets so old. By the time Monday rolls around again I'm already wishing the weekend was here. I'm not enjoying this journey. I don't enjoy this part of my life while I'm getting an education. I know I'm blessed to have such a great education and many people around the world will never have. I'm ready tho to move on. I'm ready to be done with school and start my life. I have such big dreams and goals that I'm ready to pursue. Older folk say these are the best years of your life. Why? Why can't I enjoy the 'best years' of my life? It's because I want more. I want to be married and work in a hospital and save peoples lives, i want to travel and have kids, do good for other people. I find my joy in other people often times. When someone is hurting or needs help I feel I need to be the one to save them. Which is good and bad. I can't save everyone or fix all of their problems. I can't handle all of them. I just feel such a strong push to help people in every way I can. I don't want to stand by and watch them drown and think back later and wish I would have done something then.

Journey's

The Lord can take us on some pretty crazy journey's. My whole life I've wanted to go over sea's on mission trips. One sunday a few weeks ago I felt God telling me to look more into the Romania trip so I put some information in the offering plate hoping to get an e-mail on some information. It turns out that piece of paper was signing me up for the trip. Once I found that out I instantly got scared and wanted to chicken out. I started praying about it and now I feel like God wants me to go. I'm still very scared but also excited. I know that God will take care of me and let it all work out. If it's not meant for me to go then He'll make sure I don't get on that plane. I've never been overseas so it's a whole new ball game. I trust in my Lord to get me through all of this. I'm overwhelmed that the Lord is going to use me to do some great things. I'm just a senior in highschool. I feel like I couldnt do anything that great. I know that God has big plans for my life after graduation and I think this Romania trip may be the start of it.